Vol. 2, Issue 1
SORROW, MY LOVE!
Its ok to cry. In fact, it is wonderful to cry. When we reach that point when our grief finally overcomes us and forces the tears out, its not the point when we are weak or when we break down. We become weak when we care, we break down when we love. That point when we face the grief caused by our weaknesses and fractures, we SURVIVE. Love can be dealt with by tweaking a part of us, adjusting, tilting the small components a little so that the bigger picture looks right. Side stepping the puddles, holding the other person’s hand a little harder, a little longer as you crumble and you break as love hammers the rationality out of you.
Often at night when I’m up reading I can hear my roommate talking to her boyfriend over the phone. Her voice is muffled by the thin walls and sometimes her laughter sounds like sobs. And again, sometimes its sobs convulsing into laughter. Such, is Love. It makes us happy of course. But that happiness is an allusion. Just us being thankful when we don’t have to face loneliness anymore. For that allusion of happiness we make endless sacrifices, anything that it takes to ‘make it work’. A thousand tears for a single smile. Anything that makes the other person stay. Everything that takes the loneliness away, keeps the sadness of life at bay. Love makes us shy away from the very prospect of sorrow. Love makes us weak. Grief on the other hand makes us strong, invincible. It doesn’t kill us and thus makes us stronger. It is a defiant rock of rationality that demands our attention. We can’t side step it or jump over it. Go past it, we must, for it blocks the path of our life.
The people who spend their life in seclusion or whither away and die on losing a loved one never suffered from grief. They suffered from an ignorance of grief, a refusal to accept their sorrow. Grief stands in our way and sooner or later we have to give it our attention. That is the moment when we are at our strongest. Sobbing is an outlet through which we let the emotions caused by our loss work their way through our being and out of it. Tears shed in love are crocodile tears. Tears shed in loss overflow with real, raw emotion. They are not a sign of weakness, no. Tears are a sign of acceptance. A burning balm of acceptance of the sad realization that things will no longer be the way they were and that those who’ve left will never make it back to you. Though this balm leaves our wounds raw and aching, it does what otherwise would never have happened – it heals them.
Grief is what shows us how indestructible we are. It shows us the bigger, better, stronger person in us. The person that had thus far, been pushed into the shadows by the dazzle and brilliance of Love. We are diamonds. Its easy to look pretty in the rays Love showers over us. What brings out the best in us is the scarcity of light. When we catch even the faintest reflected ray of light and shatter it into a thousand shards of brilliance. We shine best in the dark.